Adventures of the Uncoordinated

Ugh, let me just put this simply: I am a danger to myself.

There. I said it. I fully admit that I am a clumsy, clumsy person, prone to accidents and with an overwhelming penchant for hurting myself in the most ridiculous of ways.

Maybe there’s a good reason why I plan on living out my life as an author. Sit. Write. And do not move. That seems to be when I hurt myself the least.

Of course, I know I won’t do that. There’s too many things that I love to do, but seriously… can’t I get a break once in awhile? I mean, come on… in the last few weeks I’ve: dropped my camera on my toe (not a small camera either), sliced up my thumb with an exacto knife, whammed my elbow on the doorknob of the bathroom, gouged a good sized chunk out of the heel of my my foot on the door jam of the bathroom (don’t ask) and the topper – pretty much ripping half my toenail off last night.

I finally decide to do good and get out in the garden to weed and as I was stepping over the fence to throw the weed pile in the compost pit I caught my foot in the chicken wire fence we have surrounding the whole plot to – well – keep the chickens out. Low and behold besides almost completing a rather ungraceful swandive into the dirt I ripped my toenail off. I will spare gruesome pictures… mostly because I don’t have any and also because (and I’m surprised by this) it didn’t even bleed. It’s just rather uncomfortable as a portion of my nailbed is exposed and it’s an awkward feeling. I’m not going to die from it or anything, but all I can say is that I’m glad it’s summer because that toe is definitely not going into a shoe anytime soon without a fight and some relative pain. Something I would rather avoid altogether.

Is is bad though that even with my toe all jacked up and making me feel slightly nauseous if I sit and actually think about it all I can think about is the possibility that I might not be able to wear my awesome pirate boots to the Renaissance Festival? Please don’t make me wear flip flops… do you realize how out of place that looks and feels in a place like that – especially to someone like me who lives to dress up like that and not be looked at strangely for once? Ugh. Dilemmas.

In the meantime I suppose I will sit my but firmly in this computer chair and write and work on my digital painting. Hopefully I can’t find a way to hurt myself doing that. Maybe I shouldn’t buy a sword at the Ren Fest… yet, strangely enough, I’ve never hurt myself with anything like that – probably because I’m extra careful. No, I seem to find ways to effectively hurt myself in the most mundane of ways.

… Ok, I lie. There’s a large book sale going on today that I can’t force myself to miss and tomorrow we’re going to an outdoor concert festival. My poor toe. I guess I’ll just hobble around and be as careful as possible.

Yet, my authorial mind still uses this experience… thinking that, hmm… tearing off nails would certainly be an effective method of torture. I have a terrible mind, haha.

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One thought on “Adventures of the Uncoordinated

  1. Ceci says:

    Hope your toe feels better! When I had to get part of my left big toenail removed because it was ingrown it wasn’t very fun either 😦

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